Thursday, January 25, 2007

THURSDAY-DAY 8-January 25th

Today I felt even worse. :( I had pneumonia about 8 years ago and this is starting to feel very similar. My lungs feel like they're burned and therefore I think they are not fighting things off. I did get around 10 hours of sleep and so did Flower. :) She didn't wake at all during the night. She was in her crib though. Co-sleeping is supposed to be good for bonding but if she'll sleep better in her crib then it's better for her and us! ;) We finally got up and got breakfast at 9:30. She wanted nothing to do with me! I went a bit ahead of KG and one of the waitresses put her hands out and Flower went right to her. The waitress took her to the fish tank so then she wouldn't eat for either of us. But I would try and give her something and she'd glare and hit it away or throw it on the floor. She tried to throw her whole plate at one point. If KG put it on her fork she'd take it. Feeling so crappy just made me emotional about it. She is constantly giving him kisses and hugs. If he sets her by me and walks away she cries. With being sick it's harder to handle and I finally just came back to the room and cried. I think if I wasn't sick it wouldn't bother me as bad but I already want to cry because I hurt so that doesn't help. After they came back we watched Cinderella. I also ended up throwing up. My body can't make up it's mind whether my head's going to hurt or my stomach, all in the midst of the hacking cough. I fell asleep for a bit. Around 12:00 KG took Flower on a walk so I could fall back to sleep. I attempted to watch A Prairie Home Companion but it must have been scratched because it kept stalling so i finally gave up. She was asleep when they got back. KG bought me a pretty orange tulip. He didn't realize it was fake until he gave it to me and I tried to smell it. He seemed a little disappointed to find out that it wasn't real but I told him that I liked it more so it will last longer. After Flower woke we put in some Tom and Jerry that the Briton's had purchased for us. She laid in front of me and I cuddled her for three whole episodes! KG laid behind me so she couldn't see him and she only looked for him a couple of times but then she'd lay back down. She let me do her hair too and it looks so cute! Around 5 we left for Amanda's. She was so happy to see the kids. She certainly acts different there. She was much more whiney there and cried there which she doesn't do with us. I think it's because they let her get away with everything! All the nannies asked her who mommy and daddy were and she still pointed right as us. :) She was also excited to leave with us again. We left with Amanda to go to a dinner that the church members get together for each Thursday. When we got out of the taxi I even got my first kiss from her! KG had also taught her to say 'I love you' and she'll say it to both of us. Since I don't have a voice and am mostly whispering, she is now copying me and whispering back. It's pretty cute. After the dinner we went to the market and we weren't allowed to take Flower in because she wasn't tall enough! Like it's an amusement park?! Even when we put her in the carrier they wouldn't allow it so KG stayed outside with her. After that we were all tired so we dropped Amanda off and came home, around 9:30. Flower had already fallen asleep. KG and I are about to watch a movie and go to sleep. KG and I talked about the attachment issue and agree that Flower is probably more hesitant with me because she thinks I am replacing Amanda. She has never had a man in her life so it is easier for her to bond with KG. But tonight in the cab on the way home she actually asked me for a kiss. It was great. I think with a little bit of time things will be ok.
Day 8 Photos

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