Thursday, February 26, 2009

Money and an ambush.

Money sucks.
Dang if we just keep getting sucked dry. And it's not just small amounts.
Aside from paying on adoptions which will be the case for a couple of years, we are set in that amount so it's manageable.
Here's what we weren't expecting in the last two weeks:
Another $1600 bill from the adoption agency for stuff I don't totally agree with.
$1000 bill for fixing shitty plumbing issues at our house. ba dum chhh
$800!! for preschool registration. But it's so good for her and her mind needs the extra stimulation.
$600 in dentist bills. More forth coming since I had a filling fall out and now the pain is up the side of my face and around my eye since I didn't take care of it right away. Nice.
I'm sure there's more that I'm blocking out but as we say around's just money. Since there's not much we can do about it anyway.

Two speakers in my car are blown. Tragic! Because of the above, they can't be replaced right now. At least if I'm being responsible. I can't make any promises. Especially since Matt made me completely jealous tonight with the sweet new system he has in his car. When we had my shower a few weeks ago, as soon as I walked in the door Matt told me he had something to show me. I go to his room to see an awesome box sitting on his bed. I thought it was so cute that he wanted me to see it that bad! :) I used to have one in my jeep and then my blue car. I installed them myself. I miss the bass so much! So I've been waiting for him to get it and other speakers installed. He had it done Friday and I was so excited to hear it so I sneaked out of the baby shower for a bit and had a listen. Awesome!

Something a little more positive...I was ambushed tonight by my bishop and his first counselor(Jerry). I was at a baby shower at Kris' house, which we threw for Tamara, therefore Jerry was already there but then the Bish showed up after most people left. It ended up being an amazing experience. Really. We were all kind of speechless. Well I am always speechless in situations like that. I swear I feel like a moron. I get really embarrassed, completely shut down and can't say anything to save my life. But Kris was there to save the day and did my talking for me. Seriously, K, thank you for being there! But I was a bit surprised at the way the bishop looked afterward, like he didn't even expect what happened. It was neat.

And now I feel sick to my stomach and have the chills. Dang these nerves of mine. :)

Today was a really good day.

Madison Traits

Oh they are lovely. Let's name a few that pertain to me.

large arms(check)
soft hearted(check)
emotional(check and due to the above)
bad feet(although I got my mom's cute tiny feet, the bottoms occasionally cause me trouble, but it's been years)
small, deep veins(check)
love of food(check)
hate exercise(check)

Although all of these are just lovely, I want to focus on the last one. I am unable to think of a single aunt, uncle, cousin or sibling that loves exercise, or even likes it. Oh wait there is one. And she's even made a career of it. I envy that. She's an oddity. There are 23 of us. Plus 21 spouses that I don't like it any better but they have other people to blame for that. I may be wrong on some of the spouses by possibly 4, but for that number it hardly matters. One in 44 is really not good. (Family...If I'm wrong about that number, please correct me so I can dislike you for liking it). :) Most of us struggle with our weight as a result of the last two mentioned above.
That being said, I know it's necessary, especially since I have back problems. I am now back on the wagon since falling off when River joined us. It's amazing that just three months without it makes me feel so weak when I start again. But I've met my goal for two weeks now. I will slowly increase the amount I exercise but if I go in gung hoe, 7 days a week, I burn out really quick and then months will go by again. I just wish the more I did it the more I liked it. It even makes me feel better. I don't think it's a coincidence that my best days this week have been those that I've exercised. But that's still not enough to make me like it. Not. Even. A. Little. So just know that when I say I've exercised, it's a BIG deal! :) And you can all feel sorry for me. ;)

Today after I picked Flower up from preschool I got out my favorite exercise video. We did it together. It was really fun, and she burned out before I did! That video was a large part of the reason that I lost 60 pounds in 2004. Yes 60. That's a big number. I actually lost that in just 5 months. Because of such a quick loss, I gained back about 20 by the end of 2005. But have kept the other 40 off, give or take at certain points, since then. I could easily lose another 60 and not look emaciated. However I'd be really happy losing that 20 I gained back and I'd be happy with myself. But what would make me even more happy would be at any weight, no matter what the number, and stay there! Feel good. Feel healthy. Have a healthy relationship with all of it. I lost all that weight the old fashioned way too. Eating right and exercising. Granted, it was much easier then because I didn't work that year. I guess I did since I watched Ashton at home but he was a new born so it was 'easy'. My life revolved around healthy food and exercise. Every waking moment. I think that's why I burned myself out and gained some back. It's about balance and not depriving myself of every little thing or it gets ugly. This is so difficult for me.
But I'm back on the wagon and feeling good, most days. ;)

Oh and thanks for all the lovely traits I received Dad! Although you received them from someone else so it's not entirely your fault. :)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I love coming home to a meal on the table.

On Monday evening when I got home from work KG had a nice meal waiting for me. :) It's not the first time but it was notable this day for various reasons. He is such a good guy. I also like the way it makes me feel when I've taken the time to make a meal for my family.

On Monday night I found something I really enjoy...watching the same show as a friend and then texting about it throughout the show. Actually we did that last week and I was excited to do it again this week. :) The little things. :)

Yesterday was a lovely day. Flower had preschool and while she was gone I had Rivs with me at the clubhouse house while I worked out. After school we had lunch with our friend Mandy.
She enjoyed seeing River. I enjoyed seeing her and how she was doing. And Flower was a fun little lunch companion as usual. :)

KG brought the girls to the clubhouse and hung out with me all afternoon. :)

Last night I took River in the bath with me. She was laying on her back on my stomach so her legs were dangling. She has finally discovered the art of splashing by kicking her feet, which in turn created large amounts of water outside of the tub. :) It was so fun for her to realize she was the one causing the splashes and in turn would do it harder. She would get into such a rhythm. It made me laugh.

Today I woke up with a headache so I thoroughly enjoyed a lunch date with Kris and Brenda, away from the house! My sister took the girls. It's Rivers first time with a sitter outside of our house! I called Sandee after my lunch and asked if she could just keep them until I went to work at 3:00 so that I could attempt a nap to get rid of the headache. She agreed. I love sisters. When I got home I was locked out because she had my keys. :) Thankfully KG was sleeping but I felt bad waking him up. Oh well. He fell back to sleep in a snap. It was so nice being in a completely quiet house!

Now we are chillin' together watching Monk whilst I'm searching the Internet for a friends long lost sex slaves, I mean loves, and cracking up! Tee hee. :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Why do I push away....

...the people I love the most? You know, if you're having a bad day it's always the ones you love the most that catch the wrath. I know it's because we know(or think) they will always be there. But it's so unfair. And sometimes, for myself, I think I am testing that relationship. If I treat you like crap and try to push you away, will you leave? Because most of the time that's what I expect. Or will you love me more because that's what I really need? It's awful for me to do that to people but the reality is, sometimes I do. And sometimes I don't realized it till I lay in bed and wonder what I just did and feel so guilty. I need to know that at my most difficult times, people aren't going to bail. I probably test some people way to often but it warms my heart to know that those that truly love me, don't even seem to let it phase them. I sometimes think they know me better then I know myself. Thank you and I love you.

Sunday, February 22, 2009


You know, like the David Bowie song.
There were some exciting changes made in our ward today. A new Relief Society Presidency was called. I'm really looking forward to this new group. All these ladies, Sherri, Louis, Kris, Shirley and Diana are amazing. They will bring something completely different to R.S. There was such a peace there today and I think it's really going to be a great change. Bring on the new year!

This evening my parents came over for dinner in celebration of my dads birthday. Happy birthday dad! 59 big ones! He loves meatloaf and he's never had mine, which is the best, so I had to treat him. ;) He told me later that he liked it. It was nice of him to stroke my ego. After dinner we sat around and talked. Flower played Connect Four several times with each of her grandparents and then Uno Memory with Grandma. KG and Grandpa also got a nap in. At 7:00 the rest of my family came over for cake and ice cream. Much discussion was had about my parents upcoming fortieth anniversary celebration this summer. I'm excited to celebrate that time with my family. That's a huge milestone these days.

I've got three things coming up this week that I'm excited but nervous about. With the recent goals I've set for myself, I'm hoping these things don't end up creating a set back. I guess only time will tell.

We've had a wonderful weekend since KG has been off three days in a row. :) We love it when he gets three or four days off in a row! :)

And what's with the constant feeling of butterflies I've had in my stomach all day? It's driving me bonkers.

I hope you all have a lovely week.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

My Saturday.

I hope you're enjoying your Saturday evening. I have been looking forward to a Quilt class this morning that was given by a gal in our ward, Sherri. The plan is to do a block a month and at the end of the year we'll have ourselves a quilt. Kris and I both signed up together. I ended up hating every minute of it because I came down with a major case of anxiety. It kind of took me by surprise but it shouldn't have since I tend to get performance anxiety. As soon as I feel like people are watching me or are waiting for me so they can move on, I make mistakes, my mind goes foggy, and I get really embarrassed. I was near tears so I said I didn't feel good, packed it up and bolted before I became an embarrassing mess of tears. Ugh. It's so silly. I thought being with a friend would make it easier but I was wrong and just got overwhelmed. I really wasn't expecting that to happen so it kind of left me in the dumps all day. I brought the kits for January and February home thinking I could maybe teach myself but the reality is I probably won't. It's pretty complicated and the tips from Sherri would be awesome and probably insure that I know what I'm doing in the future. I just don't know if it's worth it. I don't think I would actually complete the quilt if I tried to do it all at home. I'm just not sure I want to go back but I'm afraid I'd be leaving them hanging since my blocks were cut. Ugh. Why do I do this to myself.

I'm kind of feeling a bit better now. My niece Lauren called earlier in the week begging to spend the night. We are watching Taken. I was hoping she would go to church with us in the morning but her parents want her in their ward so she has to leave at 8:30 in the morning! It's nice to have her here and I hope she continues to want to hang out with me and have sleep overs once she's in high school! That is next year. Scary. I just hope she's never to cool for her favorite aunt. :)

Princess Money Banks.

The other day when Walter brought me the front baby carrier, he brought Flower these two money banks.
Her favorite movie is Peter Pan so she was thrilled with Tinkerbell.
And anything with the Disney Princesses is a hit. :)He is so kind. He brought them because he always sees her wearing her princess dresses at the office. :) She does love her dresses.
This Cinderella one is a favorite.

I love her face in this photo. Pretty, pretty girl. :)
Happy weekend to you!

Hoping for Sunshine Give-Away

I love give-a-way's don't you? Well, here's one that I'm taking from my friend Kristina's blog (plus I want to win too!) And I love making/giving things for others, so this will be fun for me too!!

Here's how it'll work...

The first three people to comment on this post will get something from me, possibly made by me. My choice--but just for you.

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I give!
2. What I create or give will be just for you.
3. It'll be done this year
4. You will have no clue what it is going to be.
5. I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog. The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me you did, will win a marvelous homemade gift or handpicked gift by me! Let the games begin! Oh, and I have to be able to contact you with mailing information! I promise it will be something good! Good Luck to all!

Friday, February 20, 2009

River's 3 month progress report

Three months ago today not-so-little River was born. Today she is still the center piece of our little family. For those of us that see her daily she doesn't appear to have changed much. But according to statistics she is getting bigger. She actually looks like she is thinning out, probably because she is growing so much longer.
When we talk to her she makes a lot more eye contact than before. And she is more generous with her smiles. She now has different smiles for different moods. As Angee has said before, they always start in her eyes.
Oh, by the way, this is KG writing. Angee has decided to be domestic tonight, and since that never EVER happens I thought I would write the blog for her. Anyway, back to River.
She seems to have developed her coordination a bit more and is constantly intertwining her fingers. She is fascinated with her hands and plays with them constantly. Luckily she is still too "thick" to find and reach her toes.
She has also started sucking her tongue recently and with that comes some pretty funny sounds.
I expect any day now to hear her call out orders and demands much like her older sister. River mimics mouth movements when we talk to her and is constantly making new sounds and noises trying to get her voice to come out. It won't be long before I will be hearing "No!" from a third female voice.
Over all she appears to be developing at a normal rate. The reflux appears to have subsided, but may be being replaced with teeth cutting. We are not positive about that yet, but she is just barely starting to show signs of gaining some pearly whites. Ang will keep you posted as I am sure you wait on baited breath for the next blog post.
Have fun,
KG (ang will now add the photos from their little photo shoot)

She has amazing eyebrows. They are so expressive! She can even raise them each separately.

A moment of unhappiness.

The following three photos are what I was explaining in a previous post about the 'acting shy-embarrassed-scrunched up nose-draw hands to face-tuck head and bury face' routine that she does after her biggest smiles. So cute.

Love all the spit bubbles.

Preschool crafts

Flower made this adorable penguin a few weeks ago. :)
She made these for love month.

They talk about germs a lot in preschool. A little too much for my taste as she is becoming weird about them. But what better place to learn then school which is one big petri dish for germs!
The plate is supposed to be Flower's head. This is the back.
This is the front. Her hand is holding a tissue which is covering her mouth.
And that's her face with germs on it. I thought it ws pretty cute. I love that her mouth, the red circle, is twice the size of the rest of her face. :) The eyes and nose are cute too. The germs are gross.
Very cute idea and visual.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sunshine, Glorious Sunshine

There's Sunshine in My Soul Today is one of my favorite hymns, with the chorus being my favorite.

O there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine, When the peaceful, happy moments roll When Jesus shows His smiling face There is sunshine in the soul.

I also like the third verse.
3 There’s springtime in my soul today, For when the Lord is near, The dove of peace sings in my heart, The flowers of grace appear.
I felt so good today.
Yesterday wasn't such a happy day so I am basking in the bliss that is today. :) I'm just happy and my heart is smiling. I finally got back on the exercise wagon this week. I haven't worked out since River was born. It was time. I worked out Tuesday and then again today, while Flower was at preschool. I have also concentrated on some other goals this week that are pretty tough for me and here, on day three, things are looking good. :)

After I picked up Flower from school we went and got a Jumba juice together. Then after we got home I got the girls dressed and we went out for a walk. It was River's first walk. We soaked up the sunshine. It's very good for my soul.

Aside from the sunshine, the other motivation for our walk was to try out a new carrier. I've mentioned Walter before. He's one of the nicest people I know. He showed up here on Monday with a princess castle for Flower. Then this morning while I was working out he brought me in a baby Bjorn type carrier. I have wanted one because none of the carriers I have(three!) are front facing and River seems bothered that she can't see out. She loved it! We walked up by the empty canal. Unfortunately this lame mom forgot to put socks on her so her feet were cold. I held them to keep them warm but it cut the walk short at only 30 minutes. I could have spent hours!
Flower has a hard time keeping her eyes open in the sun. I gave her the hat for Valentine's Day. I love it on her!
River loves her new carrier!At one point a ton of geese flew over and it was so loud. I love the sound they make, especially in big groups. We had fun watching them and imitating their sounds.

I love the sun shining in both of these photos!

It was so nice to be outside! Bring on Spring!

Let's kick it.

can you dig it?

My photo
i love life. i love my family. i love adventures.

past ramblings

peace out