Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Why?

Why, after a pretty good day, does it have to end emotional? Flower got adequate sleep last night therefore woke in a good mood. I also got a lot of sleep and was happy in return. We played and, although I did get her dressed earlier, I didn't get dressed until 11:30 and didn't finish getting ready until 1:00 when I put her down for a nap which she went down for really well! She didn't whine one time today! I then went to the office for a few hours and when I came home she was awake in her crib with a smile. I was not overwhelmed by thought of KG going to karate at all! We made chocolate chip cookies while he was gone. Anything she dumped in ended up more on the counter then in the bowl and that was ok. She had a fun bath and that gave me a chance to pick up a bit. Then she went to bed beautifully with no tears after a lovely dinner with KG. So why now is it 5:45 am and I still haven't slept? Is it because of all the other days that I feel inadequate and don't deserve to be her mom? I feel completely spoiled at how easy she has made this parenting thing on us! I am having a lot of these nights lately. Now I feel overwhelmed bout the day ahead knowing it's starting soon and I have to tackle it completely tired! Good thing I have a doctor appointment soon! Thank heavens for KG being able to come home on his lunch break for me to cry it out! He always makes me feel better!

So Much To Say~Dave Matthews
Say my hell is the closet
I'm stuck inside
Can't see the light
And my heaven is a nice house in the sky
Got central heating
And I'm alright
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Can't see the light
Keep it locked up inside
Don't talk about it
Talk about the weather
Can't see the light
Open up my head and let me out, little baby
Here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time

I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside
Can't see the light
And my heaven is a nice house in the sky
Got central heating and I'm alright
Here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time
I find sometimes it's easy to be myself
Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else

I see you young and soft oh little baby
Little feet, little hands, little baby
One year of cryin' and the words creep up inside
Creep into your mind
So much to say
Here we have been standing for a long, long time
Treading trodden trails for a long, long time
I find sometimes it's easy
to be myself
Sometimes I find it's better
to be somebody else

So much to say
Open up my head and let me out
Little baby

Whatever!
Oh and I'm not doing anything constructive today! Scrapbook and play with Flower is all anyone is getting out of me! Screw work and responsibilities for once! :)
Peace Out!

1 comment:

sara :) said...

Never feel inadequate. Ever. You are doing an amazing job with that little girl. Look how far you both have come with her in just a few short months. All any of us can ever do is just our best and that's it. You were given a special little blessing from the Lord and He will always carry what you can't. You are a wonderful parent and don't ever doubt yourself on that one. :)

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