Blogger is being lame...

...and so am I! It's not letting me upload photos right now. Soooo, the post about Flower's field trip last week and the post about her cute hair butterfly will have to wait.
Today we all went to church as a family which was nice. I have been avoiding certain situations for about three weeks and it's made a huge difference. We were just realizing a couple of days ago that I've been in a great mood and so forth. I was nervous about church. It was ok. I was told something about RL that was very disappointing and made me want to gag and I have a feeling it will not stop there and will become my worst nightmare but somehow I'm sure I'll manage. I skipped out early with Kris to go to Jenna's neighborhood bridal shower. I had been looking forward to it all week. Jenna looked absolutely beautiful! Her dress was adorable! It was really lovely and they are a neat bunch of ladies. I wasn't told that S was going to be there until we were on our way and that was annoying. I didn't really even think about it since it was a neighborhood thing and she was at the other one. I didn't think she'd be there so I didn't think to ask. I just hate that I can't just be myself and that it bothers me. Something triggers in me and I close up. And then I become all awkward and start analyzing everything and ughh. Annoying. I feel like it set me back because I haven't been negative at all in three weeks. I am also super down because I came home to convert the photos and discovered there is something wrong with most of them. It's hard to explain and I can't figure out what it is because I checked my interior and exterior lenses and there is nothing on them. It's got to be something deeper in the camera. It looks like an arc. I'm hoping it's not a crack. I'm going to take it in tomorrow and have it looked at. I am soooo disappointed because that was basically the point in me being there. I'm sure I wouldn't have been invited otherwise. Now I have failed them. I have been crying all night about it. Partly because if there was super great photos I could focus on that instead of beating myself up over the fact that I can't just be myself. Now I've had a set back for NOTHING! So with those two things I'm being pretty hard on myself. I'm so frustrated that I feel this way about people and can't seem to just get over it. And I'm frustrated that I put all that work into photos and there is something wrong with them beyond my control. So now I'm going to continue throwing myself a pity party. Oh and now it'll take a week before I stop analyzing everything about the situation and get myself back to where I was mentally (in a happy place) like I was for the past three weeks.
And there are some good photos that don't seem to be affected or it's not noticeable so I will post those when blogger will cooperate. I really did have a nice time and the house was beautiful. I had some really good conversations with a couple of people, one being Casey's grandma. He is Jenna's fiance. I always enjoy talking with Susie too. Jean always makes me laugh and Carrie is so gracious. It was her amazing house. And the food was wonderful. So, a picture post to come. For now I'm out.