And the plot thickens...

...with the girl drama. Here I am hoping it was a fluke and trying to give them the benefit of the doubt because I do like these girls and hate this kind of crap. But no. They are slime. A friend of mine knew I had gone to the movie with them and ended up at the same movie just a different theater that night. So the next night she ran into ring leader and sweet girl and they mentioned the movie. My friend asked who they went with and they mentioned everyone but me. Nice. They blocked me out of their entire night. My friend knew I was with them so she was confused. Kris went to lunch today with sweet girl for a planning meeting and hoped to mention that she noticed everyone was being a bit cold to me to see if it would lead somewhere. Unfortunately another gal was there so she didn't get the opportunity. I just want to know why, you know? I'm really trying hard not to think about it and as much as I'd like to think I'm over it, I'm fooling myself. It sucks to feel rejected and know that your being talked about unfavorable. I'm not stupid enough to think that I never get talked about but to KNOW about it is awful. And to not no why is worse. And regardless of the tough shell that I portray, deep down and within the confines of my own home, I am very sensitive. I cry when this happens to other people for pete's sake. I have been that way my whole life and tried to include those left out. I still remember getting strange looks from kids and parents at a Kindergarten dance because I was dancing with the handicap kid Kipp. I also sat by him everyday in class because others wouldn't sit by him and that hurt me. I loved helping him with his assignments. I remember how proud my parents were of me when my teacher told them all of this at the end of the year. To me it was strange that they were proud because to me it was natural and the right thing to do. My parents took a photo of me dancing with Kipp and I treasure it to this day. Anyway, for future things in the ward, it's really hard to feel like your about to go somewhere that you're not wanted. I can't help but feel rejected and the fact that four were involved rather then one makes it harder as well. Anyway, I have a baby shower tonight with ALL of them and it's at one of the girl's house! Can.hardly.wait. I get butterflies every time I think about it. And now that I'm typing this my throat is tightening and tears are welling so I'm going to stop here. Hope you have a lovely Friday night.