Reflection and friendships

Do you ever just sit around and indulge in every thought that comes into your head. Running wild with it to see the adventure it will take you and where it will end. Only to have another thought invade and the imagination starts spinning again and your off in your own world once again. This is my life. My mind runs 100 miles an hour. This also affects my memory. I will be mid sentence in a conversation and forget what I was about to say. Maybe this is why I don't hold grudges. I forget I was ever mad. Perhaps that's also why I have NO problem writing a blog everyday. There is always something in my mind. I actually could write more but I try to be reasonable.
The last few nights I just can't sleep. I think it has to do with my cruddy lungs. The bronchitis came back in full force a few days ago, last Thursday to be exact, just as we were wrapping up our vacation. I haven't complained because I get this at least once a year and lose my voice and all that goodness. This is nothing like what I had over a month ago where I thought I was going to die. Give me bronchitis any day over whatever the hell that was. So back to my voice. I have a natural raspy voice. Ever since I was a little kid I've lost my voice for a few days at a time at least twice a year. I actually used to be self conscious thanks to some idiot I came across in elementary school. 'Doctors', or whatever they were, would come in and do physicals, check eye site, check hearing, etc. This one total idiot was obsessed with my voice. He pulled me aside several times during one week as all the other kids were going to recess and asked me over and over all these questions like if I yell and scream a lot. He wanted to talk to my parents because I sound like I have damaged vocal cords. I told him no and ran out to play. He was concerned enough to speak to my mom. She let him know that this was just my voice. Then the next year he was back and made a big deal again and the things he said made me, being a 3rd grader, think I just had an awful, damaged voice. Nice. I didn't start to like it again until 5th grade when an 8th grader in our neighborhood came up to me out of the blue and said she loved my voice and wished she had a raspy voice. My dad always loved my voice and made funny comments when I'd lose it too. The other night my niece called and when I answered she said, "Hi KG, is Angee there?" Um, it WAS me! I answer the phone at work, which I seem to do at most jobs that I've had, and also deal with tenants so the last couple of days I've heard about how sexy my voice is. Some dork told me I should be a sex phone operator. Right on dude! I'll jump right on that! 1-800-raspy4u open for business! Then yesterday the stuffy nose, nasally thing set in and then it's all out the window! No more sexy rasp. And then Kris would just laugh as she made her comments every time we talked and then it makes me laugh. It's funny that I kind of look forward to losing my voice each year because it's kind of fun.

The whole point in mentioning the bronchitis is because I think that's contributing to my not sleeping and then my imagination/thoughts run wild. The really weird thing is I'm not tired. I only had an hour of sleep last night and 3 hours each on Sunday and Monday and I'm not tired during the day. That's not normal for me. I have to say I don't mind it but I know it's not good for me and I fear for the day I hit a wall of exhaustion and my emotions go crazy because I'm delirious. That'll be fun.

One of the things I was thinking about is how it's weird how things happen in sets. Like just recently I've had three different people tell me I'm and old soul, and then added various things to that compliment that made me feel really good. One said that I really seem to be able to relate to them as though I'd already gone through everything they are dealing with. I've always quite liked that aspect of my personality. I have always had a very natural ease at relating to any age and any lifestyle. I can have long conversations with a young child or my 90 year old grandma and I don't notice the age difference.
I have always really appreciated anyone older then me, because I enjoy what seems to be a confidence and wisdom. I have a deep respect for what they have gone through in their life that has made them someone I now love. And then theirs the ones right now that I've really grown to love that are older then me but they have a similar personality as mine and can relate with anyone as well. Therefore it just feels like we're the same age, and if I wasn't told otherwise, would probably have thought we were. But I still get to bask in their knowledge, life experiences and wisdom. I'm so lucky!
So then we have the complete opposite end of the spectrum. We often get the line, "I can't believe your 31! You look and act much younger than that!" Why thank you. That too is a huge compliment because I love being immature and having FUN! There is nothing like getting together with John and just letting go of being an adult and throwing your filter out the widow and saying whatever comes to mind and living. I love it.
Growing up I was friends with EVERY age. Lots of my friends were four years younger then me, and then ones that were 3 to 4 years older then me. They were almost always boys and a lot of times people around me thought it was weird and didn't like it. But I have never really seen age. And I still keep in contact with those same people and somehow now it doesn't really matter does it? Look at all the things I would have missed out on if I had listened to all those people back then and stopped the friendships. I love the richness my life has because all the stories of those I've cared for are intertwined within me.
I don't often hear, or in fact never have I heard, "boy you sure act your age". :) I'm overjoyed to be an 'immature old soul' and where the title proudly.
I love my irreverent friends at church. Church can be fun and doesn't have to be stuffy like so many think it does. I have always learned more when having fun.
I love my out of control gaming friends.
I love the friendships that I have with each and every one of my nieces and nephews, each one different and complex.
I love the friendships that I have with my siblings and their spouses and KG's siblings and significant others.
I love the friendships that I have with my parents and in-laws.
I love the friendship I have with my camp girls. Because I was able to get to their level and laugh hysterically with them, and even pee my pants in the middle of the night, that now, even two years later as they're entering their senior year, they still turn to me in joy and sorrow and ask for advice.(And none of them were in our ward because we do stake camp) My heart is full whenever I talk to them. They have such excitement for life right now. They are inspiring.
I love the friendships I have with my old Young Women's leaders! What incredible women!
I love the friendships I have with SOOO many of my cousins. It's safe to say that I'm the only one of my siblings that truly has a relationship through email, blogs or phone with the majority of the cousins on my mom's side. And it could very well be said about my dad's side as well. I just love relationships and sharing in life's ups and downs, and truly caring for people, instead of just on a superficial level. My heart truly aches when anyone I know is feeling pain. I also get overwhelmed with joy when they have great things happening.
I even have relationships with my siblings in-laws families. They all have incredible families! When we go to Vegas we stop by my sister-in-law's parents and siblings. Just recently the same sister-in-law called to tell me her youngest sister was going through the temple. I was so happy that I cried. My sister-in-law wasn't even crying. But knowing some of the difficulties she's had and now choosing to do this even though her husband may never be a member, and having the strength to live differently in that aspect because you know what you're doing is right is amazing to me. I really love her whole family. I get excited to see my sister's in-laws and my little brothers in-laws. I'm often told that people think it's weird. It's normal for me.
I have relationships with my doctors and chiropractors, etc.
There is something completely different to learn from each and every one of them.
I love the people that I have met through the blogging world that I may never meet personally but am still continually inspired by their lives and knowledge.
Believe it or not I don't make friends easily because I'm not great at small talk. Hate it actually. But once I make a friend, it's long lasting. I still have my best friend from first grade. But I'm shy in new situations. Lisa and I still laugh because we are both the same way. They lived in Oregon when KG and I got married. She and I both dreaded when they'd come to town and John and KG would want to get together. They'd come over to our house and the boys would go upstairs to play and leave us in the living room. I am not lying or exaggerating when I say that we would sit there in the same room, one time for two hours, and not say a word to each other. Then we'd both get pissed at our husbands and say we have nothing in common and we'll never be friends and we're not doing this anymore. It took about two years, maybe more, after they moved back to feel comfortable. We discovered our love of games with them, and that quickly became an every Friday and Saturday thing for over a year and that quickly broke the ice. We have lots of stuff in common. Now we're like sisters and I love all 5 of her sisters and her parents. I LOVE meeting my friends parents and siblings. It's weird but when I care deeply for someone, I love meeting the people that made them that way. Plus I have that many more people to learn from.
Two years ago when we were on the coast we went all the way to Eugene just to see friends of KG's grandparents that I'd only met once but fell in love with. They are wonderful people and it was such a fun visit!
I just love people and feel so blessed with all the friendships that I have and how much they each inspire me.
Thank you for being my friend and contributing to my life! :0)